However, let the record show that not all gimmies are desirable. A gimmie is when a traffic cop pulls you over and only gives you a warning, or when the grocery store clerk honors your expired coupon without price checking your Adult Depends over the store microphone. The Ruler of Greece once told famed sculptor, Calamitous, that his Venus di Milo statue was so beautiful there was no need to finish the arms. Gimmies have been prevalent throughout history and occur every day of our lives. The circle of friendship only extends to the rim of the cup. If the player is an obnoxious blowhard, an arrogant know-it-all, a despicable cheat, or a relative of Governor Cuomo, there are no gimmies. It’s Cobra Kai time it’s time to sweep the knee. If you are embroiled in a highly competitive match and your opponent has been talking smack, there is no such thing as a gimmie. It is golf’s version of sending a fruit basket. You owe him that testy three footer as a gesture of friendship. Your buddy helps you tune up your car, mows your lawn when you are on vacation, and laughs at all your dumbass jokes. It is better than watching him lip out, melt down, and try to disembowel himself with his putter. The guy has stroked a winding 125 foot putt from just off the green to within three feet of the hole. For the average golfer, missing or making a short putt is more meaningless than a cup of decaf coffee or a political campaign promise. Pros putt out because they are playing for big money, coveted trophies, and trophy wives. Knock it away before he tries to hit it again. If his ball is closer to the hole than to Akron Ohio, it’s good. It is your civic duty to stop the bleeding and administer the Kevorkian gimmie. You cannot bear to see him take another stroke. He has landed in every bunker, splashed in every pond, and bounced off more trees than a squirrel on crack. Just grab your balls and get off the green. This is more frustrating than waiting for a senior citizen to back out of a parking space at Walmart or watching Joe Biden trying to complete a sentence. The foursome waiting in the fairway has been watching your group blast from one greenside bunker to another, chunk chips, plumb bob, and debate who putts next. So, if you struggle with administering a gimmie, here are some helpful guidelines: Daylight Savings Time Keep in mind, this is a game typically played by hackers in baggy shorts who have already taken two mulligans and several foot wedges just to survive the front nine. These are the guys who keep score in ink, who use a pocket calculator to split the lunch tab, and who believe a gimmie is an assault on the integrity of the game. The other mothers of golf are the players who would rather donate a kidney than concede a putt. Some guys are generous and hand out gimmies like after dinner mints, sometimes even before the lag putt has stopped rolling. Is the golfer worthy? Is the ball within the so called circle of friendship or just a distant cousin? What is a reasonable distance? An arms-length? A size 12 golf shoe? The height of your average circus midget? There is no definitive rule. On the other hand, conceding a putt is more complicated than judging figure skating. Before your conscience sets in, quickly pick up your ball and slink off the green like a shoplifter exiting a convenience store. You are agonizing over the proverbial question, “Do I ease it in or ram it home?” Then suddenly you hear those magic words, “That’s good, pick it up.”Īccepting a gimmie is easy. Sweat is running down your back into your Tommy Johns and dread is creeping into your fragile psyche. You are standing over a three foot putt to save par. It is devastating.įortunately, amateur golfers have a vaccine for these blown putts, a get out of jail free card, it’s called a “gimmie”. Missing a short putt is like fumbling at the goal line, dropping a pop up for the final out, or driving across the country to discover Wally World is closed. Just ask Scott Hoch who missed a 2 foot putt to lose the 1989 Masters. Short putts are the Bermuda Triangle of golf. As he reached the green and surveyed his putt, a spectator yelled, “it’s good, Arnie, pick it up.” He proceeded to hit his second shot onto the green about 30 feet from the hole. While standing in a large crowd behind the 11th green, I saw Arnold Palmer and his army round the corner of the fairway. I attended the 2002 US Senior Open at Caves Valley Golf Course in Maryland.
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